“My dawg, “my homie”, my brother/sis, my ride or die, my day 1, and the most infamous…”my nigga”. These are all adjectives that we as a Black community use to describe a close friend. But if you take a step back and look to see if actions are aligning with the title, there’s a disappointing disconnect.
Accountability…Accountability is the alpha and omega of the terms above. If your “day 1”, “patna”, or “hitta” isn’t holding you accountable for your actions, then a reevaluation might be in order. Think about this. If you’ve made goals for yourself in 2018, how many of your friends have followed up with your journey? How many of your friends are actively helping your achieve these goals? (mentally or physically).
As a people, it goes without saying that we are in one of the most trying times economically, politically, and socially. Whether it be financially, spiritually, mentally, the only way to truly rise to the challenge is by being the best versions of ourselves everyday. With the grip social media has on our everyday lives, it’s easy to get sidetracked and distracted from our journey. This is where your real friends come in. Versus enabling or indulging in your distractions, your real day 1s will guide you away from unhealthy habits and vices. Your day 1 should be strong enough to hold a mirror to your face when necessary and compassionate enough to empathize with you when you don’t like the reflection.
Anyone can take a selfie with you, but how many will help you be your best self? Anyone can gossip with you at work, but how many will plan with you on how to work for yourself? The bottom-line is, simple…anyone who isn’t adding to your growth isn’t a friend, their just occupying space. Occupy that space with the right individuals.
It’s easy to become attached to certain individuals. Sometimes vibes just mesh well naturally, and that’s ok. However, it’s important to understand that a friend should add more than just a vibe, they provide substance. Behind every successful individual, there’s a solid team in circle. No man or woman can do it alone. Before you say “I keep a small circle”, ask yourself how big has your growth been.